The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence
The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.
– Denis Waitley
Every day I watch my birdhouse, in which a new family is created every year. The scenario is always the same: first a lone starling flies in, who devotes his time to searching for his soul mate, or rather he will wring it with all possible sounds to attract her to the housing he found. When a companion flies to him, the most interesting period in the life of these creatures begins. At first they sing very beautifully together, their singing pleases my ears, they rejoice at the new day, the sun and each other, get food together and spend all their time together. After some time, I notice: it became quieter, only one starling began to fly out for food, he became a father, and his missus became a mother and devotes herself to posterity. Small beaks every day require more food and mother’s attention. Later, mom joins the search for food, because the chicks are already old enough to remain in the birdhouse. Looking at them, I understand that these tiny creatures are very reminiscent of us – people. And the most difficult thing is not raising offspring, despite the fact that this is a very responsible process that requires physical and emotional costs, but the moment when children need to be released from the nest. I, as the father of three children, hard to accept this fact, although I understand that this is a natural process in our lives. Children give us the happiness of being not only parents, but also grandparents. We are aware that this stage cannot be passed without the participation of our children.
The formation of a new life begins long before its conception and before birth. A newborn is taken care of by parents or those who replaced them, for a certain time before their conscious life, being guided by an external will, for example, the will of their parents or people close to him, who lead him along the path that they follow. However growing up gradually, there is a need to complete education, get a full secondary education and choose your own path: to acquire a profession, get a job, take a job as a specialist, then create a family, give birth to children, bring something into this world with your creation.
Reflecting on this natural course of life, I try to understand why it is so difficult for us to accept it, and I understand that it is important for me what values and principles I put into my children, because the “Diary of a Quality Life” was created just for them. Being “there” and seeing that life is finite and fleeting, I realized that the most important thing for me is what I leave behind for my children, and maybe your children. That is exactly what the idea of creating a diary came about – the Guide to Quality of Life. This is not just a diary, for me it is a collection of principles and attitudes, values that I would like to pass on to my dearest people – my children, who have matured so quickly, but will always be the same kids for me.
“We inevitably doom our children to failure and frustration when we try to set their goals for them”, – said Jess Lair. That is why it is better if our children themselves learn to set smart goals and persistently achieve them with their own work. The Diary of high quality life is a tool for the formation of a successful trajectory of personal and professional life, the formation and achievement of goals in accordance with an understanding of one’s own aspirations and external conditions of the living environment.
The Soviet teacher and writer Vasily Sukhomlinsky wrote: “Many troubles are rooted precisely in the fact that people from childhood are not taught how to manage their desires, they are not taught how to relate to concepts, it is necessary, it is impossible. <…> Family is that primary environment, where a person must learn to do good”. And the task of parents is to raise, educate a person and release him into adulthood. And what kind of Person he will become, Qualitative or Intelligent, is more dependent on the parents. This is our contribution to the world. The world-famous Soviet teacher Anton Makarenko said: “By raising children, current parents raising the future history of our country, and hence the history of the world”.
The most crucial moment for all parents and children is the moment the chicks leave the nest. Sometimes I observed an amazing picture, starlings sometimes lure the chicks from the birdhouse with a worm. The chicks do not always land successfully, cats or other birds are waiting for them, however, starling parents and chicks move forward to meet dangers and a new life. Most of all, we parents worry about them and sometimes raise greenhouse children, chicks who are not very ready for adulthood. Starlings, after all, also kept chicks in the nest, but the time comes to leave it. In the forest, I watched that the parents of the not yet mature chicks crawling in the grass feed their children with worms and protect them, distracting everyone who is nearby. Children must be with their parents by blood, parents must love and care for their children, and children, in turn, must love and care for their parents. Children need to appreciate those who become their parents for one reason or another, and those who become parents need to love children who become their own.
I wish you to have children, your own or foster, children and parents to stay in love, joy, peace, goodness, to be healthy and be in well-being. Children’s Day should disappear from the calendar, as this is not a holiday that should be celebrated, because we need to protected uor children and taken care of them every day! Learn from nature – take an example from Starlings.
Sincerely, Ildus Adgamovich Chukmarov.
